It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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