Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Say something about gay babies.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
