okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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