So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
