I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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