he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
