All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
