My hand turned me down
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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