I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
