he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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