You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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