He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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