An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
