Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize