so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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