she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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