is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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