I just cut my nipple shaving
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
