"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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