Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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