never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
