wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
that's an acceptable place to lick
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Randomize
