"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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