so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
