North Korea, Best Korea!
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
