I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
