Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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