Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize