I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
