nut hugger
so that wasnt chicken after all
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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