You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
