Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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