I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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