Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
