Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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