If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
