Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize