Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
We talked him into tasing himself.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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