shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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