wrigley field is MILF paradise
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
