How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
this boner is exhausting
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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