Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
