Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
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