My room smells like vodka and shame
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
