At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Randomize