I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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