problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
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