it's too hot outside to masturbate.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
