I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
