Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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