he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
