their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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