Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
