She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
