I bet he comes in French.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
