3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize