My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
