Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
