she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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