and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
