hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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